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  • Philowixian - crambambuli
    by We ve not refused to light the nation Nor share the Radiance of our sky CHORUS And on its rays we proudly gaze And Join in singing hearty praise To Philolexian s immortal sun And on its rays we proudly gaze And Join in singing hearty praise To Philolexian s immortal sun VERSE THREE Then here s to old Columbia never May shadows dim her greater light Nor any

    Original URL path: http://www.columbia.edu/cu/philo/legacy_content/content/archives/crambambuli/ (2016-02-12)
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  • Philowixian - documents
    Michael Sovern I include this letter because it seems to epitomize the spirit of Philo during the first few years after its refounding witty and yet comically absurd This letter can also be found in the Columbiana Library in Low Library Ian Sullivan CC 04 Declaration of War on the American Whig Cliosophic Society of Princeton 1987 In the year of our Lord one thousand nine hundred and eighty seven the Philolexian Society officially allied with the Philomathean Society of the University of Pennsylvana and issued this Declaration of War to the Whig Cliosophic Society of Princeton The Whig Clio s never officially replied and eventually both Philo s declared the war an uncontested victory While many of the reasons may seem specious look at points 3 and 4 for the actual reasons that both Philo s were annoyed with Princeton It is questionable whether the war was actually won by the Matho Lexian alliance since none of the charges against Princeton were answered and all therefore remain valid Epic Poem by Jonathan Treitel 2003 In the spring of 2003 an inebriated member of the Philomathean Society of the University of Pennsylvania entered Alfred Lerner Hall and absconded with the banner of our Society The crime was reported by Julian Himes a Columbia College student who was also the lover and accomplice of Ms Annafrancesca Fuchs a Philomathean Our Society was quick to respond Distrusting Mr Julian Himes Philolexian established a Secret Committee with the express purpose of extending diplomacy by other means Soon an elite selection of the Secret Committee the predecessor of our current Knickerboxer Defense Battalion marched to the University of Pennsylvania and committed acts of cunning daring and flirtation When our heroes arrived in Philadelphia however they quickly despaired The Halls of Philomathean stood locked and

    Original URL path: http://www.columbia.edu/cu/philo/legacy_content/content/archives/documents/ (2016-02-12)
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  • Philowixian - history
    Attendance good Behavior and general Improvement since his Entrance into College Over two years later on Commencement Day May 17 1768 there was given to Mr Gouverneur Morris one Silver Medal for Oratory and the same to Mr Moore In addition to the above the Literary Society awarded silver medals for oratory to the following students Chariton Doughty and Harris jointly Pell and Habbard jointly Boden Barclay Roebuck and Philips Sr The entry for June 2 1769 states that the Society pd Mr Charles McEvers for 20 Silver Medals engraved in London L57 7 3 The weight of all the medals was 331 7 grams The Society also gave awards to itself it presented a copy of Goldsmith s History of England to Mr Ogilvy and Milton s Paradise Lost to Mr Auchmuty 3d As for Hamilton his literary society existed on something of a parallel track Most of what we know is contained in a letter written by his King s College classmate Col Robert Troup to provide information of a biography of Hamilton that was never written Col Troup met Hamilton in 1773 he wrote on March 22 1810 The particular associates of the General in College were Dr Edward Stevens also of St Croix Dr Samuel Nicoll lately of New York deceased Mr Henry Nicoll lately of Long Island deceased and myself NB Added in the margin was Jno Nicoll of N Haven We formed ourselves into a weekly Club for our improvement in composition and debating and in public speaking and the Club continued until we were separated by the revolution In all the performances of the Club the General made extraraordinary sic displays of richness of genius and energy of mind There is no record that the Literary Society that awarded medals to Moore and Morris did the same to Hamilton and his associates It is likely that Hamilton s club went about its business independently of the governors of King s who may very well have discontinued their society by that time What is noteworthy is that in its objectives and purpose the Club as Troup called it was indistinguishable from Philolexian The American Revolution which brought an end to King s College presumably quashed any literary tendencies of its students as well When the college reopened as Columbia however the students were quick to fill the gap The minutes of the regents of the University of the State of New York Columbia s trustees went by this name at the time for August 25 1784 noted that the regents had Received a letter dated NB No date is given signed Edward Rigg prds informing the regents that the students of Columbia College with a number of others of the City had formed a society for the purpose of improving themselves in polite literature requesting a chamber in the College for their use Resolved that the committee approve of the said society and that they be permitted to deposit their books in the College

    Original URL path: http://www.columbia.edu/cu/philo/legacy_content/content/archives/history/ (2016-02-12)
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  • Philowixian - aber
    colossal efforts to which you have gone to bring your product to our humble New York market On its label your product proudly identifies itself as imported natural spring water Elsewhere on the label it is also mentioned that Aberfoyle Springs water is a product of Canada Considering the great distance from Ontario to New York and the narrow tightly patrolled border between Canada and the United States we suspect that only the best of Ontario s products find their way here Furthermore the monolithic bureaucracy which has closely scrutinized all Canadian imports since the passage of NAFTA must have made it a difficult and frustrating battle for you to allow us to enjoy your product We at Philo also face constant struggle with our school s entrenched bureaucracy and thought that we should reward your similar efforts in that regard by naming Aberfoyle our official Canadian spring water I have been charged with the duty of informing you of this designation which we hope you will deem an honor Though the Philolexian Society established in 1802 by associates of Alexander Hamilton is Columbia s oldest student organization and one of the oldest literary societies in the country it has

    Original URL path: http://www.columbia.edu/cu/philo/legacy_content/content/archives/nomenklatura/aber/ (2016-02-12)
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  • Philowixian - annies
    approval Annie s Homegrown macaroni and cheese truly is Totally Natural Totally Delicious People are always asking you say why we decided to put a picture of Bernie the Bunny on all our yummy Annie s products Indeed you have hit upon a question that has long plagued the truth seeking membership of our society The four paragraph fable that you relate to us quenches our thirst for knowledge with both wit and whimsy mixing in anthropomorphism magical realism suspense and an Aesop like moral It is often said that story telling is a dying art It is delightfully obvious that all purveyors of this maxim have not yet come across the fine allegories so artfully placed on every Annie s Homegrown product And yet what good is a tale if no greater good comes from it We Philolexians well versed in the works of every type of literature from the Greek philosophers to the Modernists are well aware of this conundrum You argue that everyone reads bumpers stickers there s not a lot you can do in traffic Based on our position as the primary purveyors of the art of the written word at this institution through our literary journal Surgam we do not share your faith in the literacy of the average American As a nation that relies upon Fox News Fox television and the tabloids your unshaken belief in the true nature of America s respect for the art of authorship is highly commended I have been charged with the duty of informing you of this distinction which we hope you will deem an honor Though the Philolexian Society established in 1802 is Columbia s oldest student organization and one of the oldest literary societies in the nation it has never before seen fit to name an

    Original URL path: http://www.columbia.edu/cu/philo/legacy_content/content/archives/nomenklatura/annies/ (2016-02-12)
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  • Philowixian - broadsword
    want to emulate the modesty it took for God s own emperor to fight with the likes of the Flemish One may ask why a society as sophisticated and cultured as the Philolexians would choose to honor a broadsword with the appellation of Official Sword of the Society and not a more staid and sporty blade such as the rapier or epée While we are indeed a society with valid and established claims in the world of the belles lettres we too recognize the importance and effectuality of going straight for the gut To us your fine blade represents the emotional and visceral power of the written word that we love so very very much As it says in your literature By the close of the Middle Ages swords increasingly are stouter and more sharply pointed being optimized for the thrust The effectiveness of the thrust is not lost on us no matter how cultured or refined we may be and we are Whether it is found in the sweeping sentimentalism of John Donne or the ecstatic melodrama of our very own Allen Ginsburg the undercurrent of passion simmers beneath each black letter of text The development of an amazingly wide diversity of hilt forms characterizes the European Renaissance but in the Age of Enlightenment the role of the sword as a personal weapon in most of Europe ends with the nasty foppish decadence of the small sword Ah what tragedy We are all too intimate with the feeling of struggling valiantly against the pitiless progress of the epochs We raise our standard high proclaiming the primacy of the written word in an age of such sloppy conveniences as computing machines the webbernet and other such fancy doodads As such we sympathize with your plight of being simply in an

    Original URL path: http://www.columbia.edu/cu/philo/legacy_content/content/archives/nomenklatura/broadsword/ (2016-02-12)
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  • Philowixian - cleaning
    Pan Coat truly is Like Magic Home The cohorts of Alexander Hamilton who founded our society over two hundred years ago well understood the pressure that comes from living at one s intellectual peak In clear bold language your product warns the culinary artist that can may burst if left on stove or near heat source We Philolexians invoke the revolutionary spirit of our founders into every meeting but are always careful to avoid explosions caused by a wayward member of the ISO or another who does not truly respect our mission In fact a single serving of Pure Vegetable Pan Coat is described as only one half second spray truly reminding us of the importance of conciseness and brevity Your spray prevents food from sticking for easy serving and clean up which undoubtedly leave one s mind free for more literary pursuits And yet Pure Vegetable Pan Coat proudly declares that it is free from CFCs which deplete the ozone layer This admirable dedication to the preservation and conservation of our most valuable resource reveals that the Cleaning Solutions Group is not only the producer of high quality products but also has a social conscience Of course with every gift comes grave danger The pen and by extension the spoken word is far deadlier than the sword Or as you so eloquently counsel Intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and inhaling the contents can be harmful or fatal We thank you for this admonishment and solemnly swear only to use our erudition to uplift our fellow man I have been charged with the duty of informing you of this designation which we hope you will deem an honor Though the Philolexian Society established in 1802 is Columbia s oldest student organization and one of the oldest literary societies in the

    Original URL path: http://www.columbia.edu/cu/philo/legacy_content/content/archives/nomenklatura/cleaning/ (2016-02-12)
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  • Philowixian - edensoy
    20th 2003 designation of Parmalat as the official milk in a box of our society We felt however that the meticulous tracking and audited records which guarantee the purity of this food from the farm to our table truly merits an extra distinction for the fine soy milk in a box created by Edensoy In the long journey of life one must think outside the milk in a box Instead of following the uninspired path of mammalian milk be it bovine porcine or canine your soy milk in a box is an innovative blend of certified organic whole grain and soybeans And yet though revolutionary Edensoy soy milk can be used for a variety of purposes such as on cereal or on fruit nutritious smoothies shakes and desserts or sauces and soups We Philolexians strive to remain at the peak of our ability both physically and mentally Your product seems destined to aid us in this goal Vitamin B 12 rare in the vegetable kingdom nourishes nerves and is essential to good health And less we fall prone to the horrors of osteoporosis rendering us unable to endure a valiant match of croquet Edensoy milk is there with a good source of calcium the mineral for teeth bones muscle and nerve functions And lastly the constant reminder of the Garden of Eden proudly displayed in every dimension of Edensoy products serves the noble purpose of reminding Philolexians from all religious backgrounds of Man in his prelapsarian state With the help of your soy milk in a box our society can strive to create another Eden here on Earth I have been charged with the duty of informing you of this distinction which we hope you will deem an honor Though the Philolexian Society established in 1802 is Columbia s oldest

    Original URL path: http://www.columbia.edu/cu/philo/legacy_content/content/archives/nomenklatura/edensoy/ (2016-02-12)
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