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  • a d e r s r e p o r t o n s o d a q u o t S o d a i n s c h o o l A w e s o m e S o d a i s l i q u i d c a n d y I t i s w e l l k n o w n s o d a r o t s y o u r t e e t h a n d g i v e s y o u s t o m a c h e g g s B u t y o u c a n m a k e a l o t o f m o n e y o n t h e s a l e s q u o t A v i s i t o r t o R o m e R o m e h a s 6 m i l l i o n r e s i d e n t s 2 m i l l i o n c a r s a n d 1 m i l l i o n p a r k i n g s p a c e s A r e s i d e n t o f R o m e R o m e h a s 3 m i l l i o n r e s i d e n t s 4 m i l l i o n c a r s 2 m i l l i o n c e l l u l a r p h o n e s a n d 5 0 0 0 0 0 p a r k i n g s p a c e s Y o u c a n t t r u s t d o g s t o w a t c h y o u r f o o d N e v e r s n e e z e w h e n s o m e o n e i s c u t t i n g y o u r h a i r P u p p i e s s t i l l h a v e b a d b r e a t h e v e n a f t e r e a t i n g a t i c t a c R a i s i n g t e e n a g e r s i s l i k e n a i l i n g J e l l o t o a t r e e R e a s o n t o s m i l e E v e r y s e v e n m i n u t e s o f e v e r y d a y s o m e o n e i n a n a e r o b i c s c l a s s p u l l s a h a m s t r i n g F a m i l i e s a r e l i k e f u d g e m o s t l y s w e e t w i t h a f e w n u t s T o d a y s m i g h t y o a k i s j u s t y e s t e r d a y s n u t t h a t h e l d i t s g r o u n d T h e m o r e y o u c o m p l a i n t h e l o n g e r G o d l e t s y o u l i v e B a n g i n g y o u r h e a d a g a i n s t a w a l l u s e s 1 5 0 c a l o r i e s a n h o u r I f y o u y e l l e d f o r 8 y e a r s 7 m o n t h s a n d 6 d a y s y o u w o u l d h a v e p r o d u c e d e n o u g h s o u n d e n e r g y t o h e a t o n e c u p o f c o f f e e I f y o u c a n r e m a i n c a l m y o u j u s t d o n t h a v e a l l t h e f a c t s L i f e s g o l d e n a g e i s w h e n t h e k i d s a r e t o o o l d t o n e e d b a b y s i t t e r s Y o u k n o w i t i s t i m e t o r e a s s e s s y o u r r e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h y o u r c o m p u t e r w h e n y o u l a u g h a t p e o p l e w i t h 2 8 8 m o d e m s A n d i f t h a t i s n o t e n o u g h y o u o u g h t t o k n o w i t i s t i m e t o r e a s s e s s y o u r r e l a t i o n s h i p w i t h y o u r c o m p u t e r w h e n y o u s t a r t u s i n g s m i l e y s i n y o u r s n a i l m a i l Y o u h a v e t h e r i g h t t o r e m a i n s i l e n t A n y t h i n g y o u s a y w i l l b e m i s q u o t e d t h e n u s e d a g a i n s t y o u I w o n d e r h o w m u c h d e e p e r w o u l d t h e o c e a n b e w i t h o u t s p o n g e s D e s p i t e t h e h i g h c o s t o f l i v i n g h a v e y o u n o t i c e d h o w i t r e m a i n s s o p o p u l a r N o t h i n g i s f o o l p r o o f t o a s u f f i c i e n t l y t a l e n t e d f o o l T e l l m e w h a t y o u n e e d a n d I l l t e l l y o u h o w t o g e t a l o n g w i t h o u t i t A c c e p t t h a t s o m e d a y s y o u r e t h e p i g e o n a n d s o m e d a y s y o u r e t h e s t a t u e I d o n t h a v e a n a t t i t u d e p r o b l e m Y o u h a v e a p e r c e p t i o n p r o b l e m I f a t f i r s t y o u d o n t s u c c e e d s k y d i v i n g i s n o t f o r y o u M o n e y c a n t b u y h a p p i n e s s B u t i t s u r e m a k e s m i s e r y e a s i e r t o l i v e w i t h N o t h i n g i n t h e k n o w n u n i v e r s e t r a v e l s f a s t e r t h a n a b a d c h e c k B u t b i l l s t r a v e l t h r o u g h t h e m a i l a t t w i c e t h e s p e e d o f c h e c k s V i t a l p a p e r s w i l l d e m o n s t r a t e t h e i r v i t a l i t y b y m o v i n g f r o m w h e r e y o u l e f t t h e m t o w h e r e y o u c a n t f i n d t h e m A l w a y s r e m e m b e r t o p i l l a g e B E F O R E y o u b u r n T h e t r o u b l e w i t h d o i n g s o m e t h i n g r i g h t t h e f i r s t t i m e i s t h a t n o b o d y a p p r e c i a t e s h o w d i f f i c u l t i t w a s I t m a y b e t h a t y o u r s o l e p u r p o s e i n l i f e i s s i m p l y t o s e r v e a s w a r n i n g t o o t h e r s R a y s L a w Y o u c a n t f a l l o f f t h e f l o o r P a r a n o i d s a r e p e o p l e t o o t h e y h a v e t h e i r o w n p r o b l e m s I t s e a s y t o c r i t i c i z e b u t i f e v e r y b o d y h a t e d y o u y o u d b e p a r a n o i d t o o E a g l e s m a y s o a r b u t w e a s e l s a r e n t s u c k e d i n t o j e t e n g i n e s I f a t f i r s t y o u d o n t s u c c e e d d e s t r o y a l l e v i d e n c e t h a t y o u t r i e d A c o n c l u s i o n i s t h e p l a c e w h e r e y o u g o t t i r e d o f t h i n k i n g E x p e r i e n c e i s s o m e t h i n g y o u d o n t g e t u n t i l j u s t a f t e r y o u n e e d i t F o r e v e r y a c t i o n t h e r e i s a n e q u a l a n d o p p o s i t e c r i t i c i s m S u c c e s s a l w a y s o c c u r s i n p r i v a t e a n d f a i l u r e i n f u l l v i e w T o s u c c e e d i n p o l i t i c s i t i s o f t e n n e c e s s a r y t o r i s e a b o v e y o u r p r i n c i p l e s Y o u n e v e r r e a l l y l e a r n t o s w e a r u n t i l y o u l e a r n t o d r i v e T h e s o o n e r y o u f a l l b e h i n d t h e m o r e t i m e y o u l l h a v e t o c a t c h u p A c l e a r c o n s c i e n c e i s u s u a l l y t h e s i g n o f a b a d m e m o r y I f y o u m u s t c h o o s e b e t w e e n t w o e v i l s p i c k t h e o n e y o u v e n e v e r t r i e d b e f o r e C h a n g e i s i n e v i t a b l e e x c e p t f r o m v e n d i n g m a c h i n e s P l a n t o b e s p o n t a n e o u s t o m o r r o w H a r d w o r k p a y s o f f i n t h e f u t u r e L a z i n e s s p a y s o f f n o w B o r r o w m o n e y f r o m p e s s i m i s t s t h e y d o n t e x p e c t i t b a c k I f y o u m i x e d v o d k a w i t h o r a n g e j u i c e a n d m i l k o f m a g n e s i a w o u l d y o u g e t a P h i l l i p s S c r e w d r i v e r W h y d o w e s a y s o m e t h i n g i s o u t o f w h a c k W h a t i s a w h a c k D o i n f a n t s e n j o y i n f a n c y a s m u c h a s a d u l t s e n j o y a d u l t e r y I f a p i g l o s e s i t s v o i c e i s i t d i s g r u n t l e d I f b e i n g d i s g r u n t l e d m e a n s b e i n g u n h a p p y d o e s t h a t m e a n a g r u n t l e d p e r s o n i s h a p p y W h y d o w o m e n w e a r e v e n i n g g o w n s t o n i g h t c l u b s S h o u l d n t t h e y b e w e a r i n g n i g h t g o w n s I f l o v e i s b l i n d w h y i s l i n g e r i e s o p o p u l a r W h e n s o m e o n e a s k s y o u q u o t A p e n n y f o r y o u r t h o u g h t s q u o t a n d y o u p u t y o u r t w o c e n t s i n w h a t h a p p e n s t o t h e o t h e r p e n n y W h y i s t h e m a n w h o i n v e s t s a l l y o u r m o n e y c a l l e d a b r o k e r I f a v e g e t a r i a n e a t s v e g e t a b l e s w h a t d o e s a h u m a n i t a r i a n e a t W h y d o c r o u t o n s c o m e i n a i r t i g h t p a c k a g e s I t s j u s t s t a l e b r e a d t o b e g i n w i t h W h e n c h e e s e g e t s i t s p i c t u r e t a k e n w h a t d o e s i t s a y W h y d o e s a s h i p c a r r y c a r g o a n d a t r u c k c a r r y s h i p m e n t s W h y i s a p e r s o n w h o p l a y s t h e p i a n o c a l l e d a p i a n i s t b u t a p e r s o n w h o d r i v e s a r a c e c a r n o t c a l l e d a r a c i s t W h y a r e a w i s e m a n a n d a w i s e g u y o p p o s i t e s W h y d o o v e r l o o k a n d o v e r s e e m e a n o p p o s i t e t h i n g s I f h o r r i f i c m e a n s t o m a k e h o r r i b l e d o e s t e r r i f i c m e a n t o m a k e t e r r i b l e W h y i s n t 1 1 p r o n o u n c e d o n e t y o n e q u o t I a m q u o t i s r e p o r t e d l y t h e s h o r t e s t s e n t e n c e i n t h e E n g l i s h l a n g u a g e C o u l d i t b e t h a t q u o t I d o q u o t i s t h e l o n g e s t s e n t e n c e I f l a w y e r s a r e d i s b a r r e d a n d c l e r g y m e n d e f r o c k e d d o e s n t i t f o l l o w t h a t e l e c t r i c i a n s c a n b e d e l i g h t e d m u s i c i a n s d e n o t e d c o w b o y s d e r a n g e d m o d e l s d e p o s e d t r e e s u r g e o n s d e b a r k e d a n d d r y c l e a n e r s d e p r e s s e d D o R o m a n p a r a m e d i c s r e f e r t o I V s a s q u o t 4 s q u o t W h y i s i t t h a t i f s o m e o n e t e l l s y o u t h a t t h e r e a r e 1 b i l l i o n s t a r s i n t h e u n i v e r s e y o u w i l l b e l i e v e t h e m b u t i f t h e y t e l l y o u a w a l l h a s w e t p a i n t y o u w i l l h a v e t o t o u c h i t t o b e s u r e I f p e o p l e f r o m P o l a n d a r e c a l l e d q u o t P o l e s q u o t w h y a r e n t p e o p l e f r o m H o l l a n d c a l l e d q u o t H o l e s q u o t S o m e p e o p l e w o u l d g i v e t h e i r r i g h t a r m t o b e a m b i d e x t r o u s I a l m o s t h a d a p s y c h i c g i r l f r i e n d b u t s h e l e f t m e b e f o r e w e m e t O K s o w h a t s t h e s p e e d o f d a r k B a c t e r i a t h e y r e t h e o n l y c u l t u r e s o m e p e o p l e h a v e D e p r e s s i o n i s m e r e l y a n g e r w i t h o u t e n t h u s i a s m T h e o n l y s u b s t i t u t e f o r g o o d m a n n e r s i s f a s t r e f l e x e s E v e r y o n e h a s a p h o t o g r a p h i c m e m o r y S o m e d o n t h a v e f i l m S h i n a d e v i c e f o r f i n d i n g f u r n i t u r e i n t h e d a r k M a n y p e o p l e q u i t l o o k i n g f o r w o r k w h e n t h e y f i n d a j o b I i n t e n d t o l i v e f o r e v e r s o f a r s o g o o d I f B a r b i e i s s o p o p u l a r w h y d o y o u h a v e t o b u y h e r f r i e n d s I d r i v e w a y t o o f a s t t o w o r r y a b o u t c h o l e s t e r o l I l o v e d e f e n s e l e s s a n i m a l s e s p e c i a l l y i n a g o o d g r a v y I f I w o r k e d a s m u c h a s o t h e r s I w o u l d d o a s l i t t l e a s t h e y W h a t h a p p e n s i f y o u g e t s c a r e d h a l f t o d e a t h t w i c e M y m e c h a n i c c o u l d n t r e p a i r m y b r a k e s s o h e m a d e m y h o r n l o u d e r W h y d o p s y c h i c s h a v e t o a s k y o u f o r y o u r n a m e H e w h o h e s i t a t e s i s p r o b a b l y r i g h t N e v e r d o c a r d t r i c k s f o r t h e g r o u p y o u p l a y p o k e r w i t h T h e h a r d n e s s o f t h e b u t t e r i s p r o p o r t i o n a l t o t h e s o f t n e s s o f t h e b r e a d T h e s e v e r i t y o f t h e i t c h i s p r o p o r t i o n a l t o t h e r e a c h T w o w r o n g s a r e o n l y t h e b e g i n n i n g T h e p r o b l e m w i t h t h e g e n e p o o l i s t h a t t h e r e i s n o l i f e g u a r d D o n t s w e a t p e t t y t h i n g s o r p e t s w e a t y t h i n g s I f y o u t h i n k n o b o d y c a r e s a b o u t y o u t r y m i s s i n g a c o u p l e o f p a y m e n t s L o v e m a y b e b l i n d b u t m a r r i a g e i s a r e a l e y e o p e n e r A t t e m p t t o g e t a n e w c a r f o r y o u r s p o u s e i t l l b e a g r e a t t r a d e E v e r y b o d y r e p e a t a f t e r m e q u o t W e a r e a l l i n d i v i d u a l s q u o t I d k i l l f o r a N o b e l P e a c e P r i z e D e a t h t o a l l f a n a t i c s H a l f t h e p e o p l e y o u k n o w a r e b e l o w a v e r a g e 9 9 p e r c e n t o f l a w y e r s g i v e t h e r e s t a b a d n a m e 4 2 7 p e r c e n t o f a l l s t a t i s t i c s a r e m a d e u p o n t h e s p o t H e w h o l a u g h s l a s t t h i n k s s l o w e s t W h y d i d t h e c h i c k e n c r o s s t h e r o a d W e l l C l i c k h e r e t o f i n d o u t w h a t s o m e f a m o u s p e o p l e t h i n k J u s t i n t i m e f o r Y 2 K W o r d s m i t h i n g f r o m t h e W a s h i n g t o n P o s t S o m e n e w c o n c e r n s f o r t h e B a b y B o o m e r G e n e r a t i o n C l i c k h e r e t o f i n d o u t S o m e r e c e n t c u t e b u m p e r s t i c k e r s s e e n a r o u n d W a s h i n g t o n D C l a t e l y S o m e t r u e s t

    Original URL path: http://www.cs.columbia.edu/~sal/ (2016-02-17)
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  • Changxi Zheng's Homepage
    focusing on computer graphics scientific computing and robotics Research Statement One focus of my research concerns realistic synthesis of virtual sounds for computer graphics applications We are developing practical algorithms that automatically generate virtual sounds synchronized with animated dynamics The goal is to create realistic virtual environments that are both visible and audible for entertainment training design or other applications More broadly I am interested in realistic simulations that involve

    Original URL path: http://www.cs.columbia.edu/~cxz/ (2016-02-17)
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  • Computational Biology Bi-Group at Columbia University
    student and postdoc body in the Bi Group is very diverse in terms of undergraduate background as well as current PhD program or postdoctoral affiliation Specifically we enjoy students from the following Columbia graduate programs The program in Computational Biology by the Center for Computational Biology and Bioinformatics as part of the Integrated Program in Cellular Molecular Structural and Genetic Studies which offers flexible interdisciplinary training in quantitative analysis as well as biological investigation The PhD and MA bioinformatics programs by the Department of Biomedical Informatics that provide relevant training and electives The Department of Computer Science offers relevant programs for PhD and MS in Computer Science and specifically a Track in Computational Biology Department of Biological Sciences offers a systems biology track in their PhD program Other programs in Columbia or cross registration institutions can work with us through co mentorship We find that the best way for a student to be exposed to the research life in the lab and for the group to get to know a student is a semester project rotation enabling the group and the student to evaluate the match for longer term commitment Semester research projects are part of the curriculum in most

    Original URL path: http://www.cs.columbia.edu/compbio/ (2016-02-17)
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    speed pipelines design of interface circuits for mixed clock and mixed asynchronous synchronous systems logic synthesis and formal hardware verification Recent Announcements Prof Nowick receives two large scale NSF ITR awards Fall 2000 Asynchronous Design in the News As Chips Reach Speed Limit Makers Tap Into Clockless Logic International Herald Tribune December 17 2001 Article on the limitations of synchronous designs and the promises and achievements of asynchronous design It s Time for Clockless Chips cover story in Technology Review Magazine based in MIT vol 104 no 8 pp 36 41 Includes an interview with Prof Nowick Article on the promise of asynchronous design with a focus on recent developments Designers Look To Take Computer Chips Off The Clock Newsfactor Network September 18 2001 Article on the goals and achievements of asynchronous design Computing Pioneer Challenges the Clock New York Times March 5 2001 NYT article on Ivan Sutherland s asynchronous design group at Sun Labs Old Tricks for New Chips The Economist April 19 2001 Article on asynchronous logic being on its way to widespread adoption For an introduction to asynchronous design read the following articles An Introduction to Asynchronous Circuit Design A Davis and S M Nowick Technical

    Original URL path: http://www.cs.columbia.edu/async/ (2016-02-17)
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  • Columbia Computer Graphics Group
    Yue Gabriel Cirio Fang Da Yun Fei Akash Garg Dingzeyu Li Henrique Maia Breannan Smith Timothy Sun Papoj Thamjaroenporn Selected Publications Double Bubbles Sans Toil and Trouble Discrete Circulation Preserving Vortex Sheets for Soap Films and Foams Fang Da Christopher Batty Chris Wojtan Eitan Grinspun ACM SIGGRAPH 2015 Computational Design of Twisty Joints and Puzzles Timothy Sun Changxi Zheng ACM SIGGRAPH 2015 Continuum Foam A Material Point Method for Shear

    Original URL path: http://www.cs.columbia.edu/cg/ (2016-02-17)
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  • Columbia Vision + Graphics Center

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    Original URL path: /cvgc/ (2016-02-17)



  • Alumni PhD Students Anna Choromanska now PostDoc at NYU Krzysztof Choromanski now at Google Research Andrew Howard now at Howard Vision Technologies Bert Huang now Assistant Professor at Virginia Tech Risi Kondor now Assistant Professor at U of Chicago Darrin Lewis now PostDoc at Cold Spring Harbor Labs Pannaga Shivaswamy now Senior Applied Researcher at LinkedIn Blake Shaw now Data Scientist at Foursquare Yingbo Song now at DoD Adrian Weller

    Original URL path: http://www.cs.columbia.edu/learning/ (2016-02-17)
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  • many faculty and researchers across departments The MLColumbia Google group is a good source of information about talks and other events on campus Teaching I am teaching Probabilistic Models of Discrete Data My previous courses are here Office hours I hold weekly office hours My office is Room 430 in Mudd All are welcome For students and postdocs this is easier than using email to make an appointment Research group

    Original URL path: http://www.cs.columbia.edu/~blei/ (2016-02-17)
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